Tag Archives: Thoughts

Are You Mr Bean or Are You Plato?

There are bunch of things I learn from a relationship, especially a relationship with a western partner (bule). Even though we have been together for 7 years, we still surprise each other from time to time. And these differences actually make our relationship stronger.

Honestly, some things that I used to consider “very Indonesian” do not always have positive outcomes. One example; everytime I meet my Indonesian girlfriends  we talk, talk, and talk the whole time. Yapping away. We always have good times together! Either we cook, shop, or just hang out in a cafe or at one of the girls’ house, we always have good times  :) Sadly, we do not do this as often as we want since we are very busy with our jobs or study. And after we meet up, I will go home and my husband will ask how it was and I will answer it was great and fun. And he later will ask again about some details about this girlfriend and that girlfriend. And there will be a pause there, shit..I have no idea. We do not talk about this and that! and my husband will say, ” how come? you girls had been gone for 6 hours long and did not even ask about important stuff? ” . No. Well..kind of..but not literally…ah, crap.

Photo on 2013-02-02 at 23.36

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12 Happy Activities For a Happier Life

I found a very interesting poll online, 12 activities that make people happy in their life. Every now and then I like to read good books, or take some new courses to refresh my social ability and attitude towards life.  This one has really caught my eye not just because I fully agreed with the results but many of these points, are activities that I endeavor in order to achieve a balanced life and be more grounded. I would like to share it with you, maybe this might be useful for you..maybe you are in the same phase like where I am now.

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1. Show gratitude. Gratitude makes you happy because you enjoy more of the positive sides in your life. Count your blessings. Write five things each day for things you are grateful for.

2. Be optimistic. Focus your attention on positive things. Visualize your ideal future. Step life actively and effectively serve.

3. Stop worrying or make social comparisons. Search distraction or contemplate for half an hour each day.

4. Be friendly. True happiness consists in making others happy. Help other people or console also distracts from your own problems.

5. Learn to forgive. Revenge feelings do yourself no good. Try to be empathic. Write a forgiveness letter.

6. Cherish social relationships. People who are romantic and happy are more likely to find love and friends.

7. Experience flow. Live with attention. Turn routine activities to flow. Experience music and become one with nature.

8. Develop coping strategies. Solve problems, develop a social network, write or talk about your feelings.

9. Enjoy life here and now. Look around and experience the beauty. Scoop pleasure in small things, call positive memories and create an album of joys.

10. Commit yourself to your dreams, set goals. This gives control of your life, helps to deal with problems, and leads you to connect with other people. This is a better use of time and it gives more meaning to your life.

11. Believe in something. People who believe in a God or the universe feel happier. They experience more meaning and support. They are also physically healthier, probably due to healthier lifestyles.

12. Take care of your body. Movement makes people happier. It seems to help from depression and it makes a more positive body image. Choose a form of exercise that suits you, so you can do it often.

Go Out And Make A Difference!

I am still digesting the last episode of Forbrydelsen (a danish TV series, genre: thriller). Buat yang suka serial tipi detektip (kok jadi sunda begini? f jadi p) aduh harus dicoba nonton deh, keren bet. Aku suka banget sama jenis serial tv kaya begini..yang bermutu, deep, ga superfisial dan terlalu mengada-ada (boleh sih mengada-ada tapi please deh jangan yang berlebihan!). Contoh serial detektif/thriller yang aku suka tuh; The Wire, Death in Paradise *, Homeland, etc. Sedangkan contohnya yang mengada-ada tuh sejenis CSI dan Bones. Dulu sih mayan demen, apalagi nonton Bones. Tapi seiring dengan bertambahnya usia (tuwir maksudnyah) jadi otak pun evolves menjadi lebih canggih dengan plot cerita. Apalagi suami ikke nih super kritis banget sama filem dan serial tv jadi nular deh sekarang aku mulai pinter *plak!tampar kanan kiri* Bayangin deh kalau nonton CSI dkk gitu plot nya gak masuk akal banget! Udah gitu masak semua polisi dan detektif nya klimis-klimis gitu, cantik dan ganteng. Make up tebel, rambut diblow rapi dan baju nya gak lecek malah necis banget padahal kan detektip! Mana ada waktu coba buat nge-dempul dan neriska di sela sela penyelidikan!? <–nyetrika baju maksutnya.

OK intinya, Forbrydelsen oke banget, sayang cuma 3 season aja..dikit banget. Tapi amat sangat berbobot lah. Emang nih semenjak nonton Millenium (versi aseli, Swedia) aku tuh sejak 3 tahun yang lalu kecanduan nonton film dan serial produksi negara Nordic…Kebanyakan genre thriller yah, selain itu juga demen baca buku karangan penulis Scandinavia juga walaupun gak segandrung suami saya. Doski bisa loh baca buku 1000 halaman dalam waktu beberapa hari (megap megap ga sih?) Oiya, selain trilogi Millenium – Stieg Larsson itu, ada satu lagi filem yang aku suka banget, produksi Norwegia judulnya Hodejegerne.

Aku termasuk seorang movie buff banget. Kebetulan suami juga sama sama seorang movie buff jadilah kita berdua ini suka nonton filem-filem asik. Apalagi disokong dengan kartu anggota Pathe. Jadi dengan membayar iuran anggota setiap bulannya sebesar Eur 19,50 kita bisa sepuasnya nonton filem di bioskop Pathe (ada 3 bioskop Pathe di Amsterdam saja, dan masih banyak bioskop Pathe di kota-kota besar di Belanda).  Nah untung nya dengan kartu anggota Pathe ini tuh kalau kita lagi super bokek tp pengen hang out tanpa ngeluarin duit seperak pun kita masih bisa ke bioskop. Dengan bekal sebotol limun yang lebih dulu dibikin di rumah dan makanan kecil yang kita bawa dari rumah, jadi deh nge-date gratis di bioskop :)  Kadang kalau lagi ada duit lebih dan sok nyeni aku nonton filem di art house cinema, lumayan bisa nonton filem klasik atau art house movies :) Tapi kalau nonton di art house cinema (semacam Het Ketelhuis atau Kriterion) kita harus bayar kira – kira Eur 10 an lah per filem.

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Things We Learn

There was a story when my parents came to visit me last September. This was their second holiday outside Indonesia, well…if you can call “umroh” as a holiday :p . I left Indonesia when I was young..well, Not that young but I was cute enough and I would be asked for my ID if I wanted to buy liquor at the supermarket :p ..  I do not see my parents much not only after I live abroad, but far before that I also already used to live by myself. When I was just 17, I left home for the first time and got to taste the sweet of freedom. I had to live in an all-girl boarding house nearby the college. And when I was 19 I came back moving in again to my parents’ house for about a year or so before I flew to Germany. So, I have been away from home like almost 11 years in total :O

Thus, they arrived in Holland. Stayed at our place, and as débutant tourists they were really amazed on how clean Amsterdam was and how many cows were scattered in outskirt areas (I hadn’t taken them anywhere in their first days because we were busy preparing the wedding). During their stay, they sometimes made comments that made me smile and I didn’t really realize it before. For instance; they noticed that I could cook traditional and healthy dishes they loved and took care of the household chores aptly. For me, it was really normal because I cooked almost every day. Besides that, they said that I was active and really independent. I giggled, because I thought they were joking :D my parents had never made compliments before! But they really meant it. I then realized, of course..we did not see each other often and now it was the first time for them to see how and where I lived, and experienced the daily life with me again.

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Fenomena Ditinggal PRT

Pokoknya wayah nya akhir bulan puasa sama abis lebaran itu, pastiii cerita tentang fenomena ditinggal mudik sama si embak memenuhi timeline pergosipan (baca: Facebook dan twitter, walopun saya gak punya facebook lagi tp dulu saya fesbuker akut <–tema ini akan dijabarkan lebih dalam di postingan bulan depan). Pas dulu tinggal sama ortu kita punya 2 embak, 1 live in dan 1 lagi live out karena tinggal sesekitaran situ juga. Mbak yang live out ngurus cucian dan setrikaan, sedangkan yg satunya lagi yaa non-cucian dan setrikaan. Kalo ditinggal sama 2 mbak ini otomatis kita-kita bantuin emak yang jejumpalitan (maaf saya dari  Jakarta perbatesan sama wilayah Banten jadi yah logat kecampur sama Betawi dan Sunda) masak, nyetrika dan nyuci. Bapak saya ketiban tugas yang berat-berat, kaya angkat beton, manggul sapi, hehehe..maksudnya berat tuh ya kayak bersihin kebon secara kita ada kebon yang isinya pohon-pohon gak jelas yang ga pasti berbuah tapi so pasti bikin kotor. Buang sampah, dan nguras bak mandi belakang, nyikatin WC dan ngurasin kolam ikan lele di kebon (hardcore ga tuh!) Anak-anaknya kecipratan buat ngurusin isi rumah, kayak ngepel, nyapu, bebersih kayak ngelap-ngelap koleksi guci cina emak, nyiram tanaman dan abis itu ongkang-ongkang kaki / duduk manis depan TV nyimak infotainment sambil nyeka keringet kecut seharian kerja (gak edukatif banget ya).

Intinya, kita ngerasain gimana rasanya ditinggal sama mbak. Capek. Itu tuh yang dirasain si mbak kalo dia saban hari kerja, belum lagi pertarungan hati karena jujur aja emak saya itu orangnya naujubilaaahh bawel!!! Saya aja yang anaknya kadang nyolot-nyolotan sambil banting piring (yang terakhir cuma hiperbola karena saya takut ma doski bok, dedemit aja kalah serem). Pokoknya, tugas seorang PRT tuuuuhhh beraaaatt! Udah gitu digaji nya cuma 700 rebu perak (jaman dulu nih) ! Kita aja yang duduk-duduk di kantor dapetnya berlipet-lipet. Makanya emak dan bapak saya kalo punya mbak tuh disayang – sayang, disekolahin, di ajak jalan-jalan walopun suka ditolak doi karena doi pasti mabok di mobil, yaahh disayang lah. Bapak saya suka sewot kalo si mbak di omelin sama emak saya yang cleaning freak.

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Sunitha Krishnan

I was so damn upset when I read a status on my Facebook’s timeline a week ago. A friend, wrote something he thought was really cool but the content made me so upset!

He wrote, (literally translated): ” Lives felt as if we were being raped. It is delightful when you can enjoy it”

I was following some news from my country before I read that Facebook status and, I was actually already so pissed off by recent violent rapes that occur in public transport vans done by the drivers and other sexual predators gangs. I was so worried by what happened, since I still have a younger sister lives in Jakarta and she usually takes this kind of transportation to go to her college. Thus, my friend’s nonchalance status on Facebook about his idiot point of view and metaphor about life made me ballistic.

If he would have watched this amazing speech I watched a while back on TEDTalk, from Sunitha Krishnan, an Indian social activist in human trafficking and chief functionary and co-founder of Prajwala, an institution that assists trafficked women and girls in finding shelter. My friend he would definitely bite his tongue and be ashamed for what he had written! Be careful with what you write on social media, people. Because you don’t know how other people would react or how it would impact on others. What you think is cool, is not necessarily cool for others. Especially for this case!


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A Shoulder to Cry On

 Since I’ve been living abroad, I have met many new friends from around the world. Friends from different culture backgrounds, different jobs, different characters, etc.

You are confronted to build a new life in a whole new environment.

It is easy to stick to things you are familiar with, such as; customs you know from your hometown or best friends back home. To start off from the beginning again it is a whole lot of a challenge for a lost soul.

You have no idea to begin with, to engage with the new society, nor just to do normal things such as searching for the best hair salon in town. No information you are known of in this new environment…Yet, it is not the answer to give up hopes and start hating the land, the people and everything in it. Who am I to write these things? well..I am a foreigner who have been living in a city that I used to dislike because I thought, that the people were too rude, very unfriendly and stiff, a country with a system that sucked all of your money out, a culture that has almost nothing in common with my root and the country has too long winter and too short summer. Have to admit, that I not only once or two had thought to move out and to go back to my overly populated hometown, Jakarta.

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Cheating Yourself

..There are too many distractions in real life..More than you can imagine…What’s more to life, when you cut off all those distractions that have been suffocating, occupying, consuming, smothering the short life of yours? I believe, to contemplate means to deal with your ultimate angst and admit it. And let it goes.. Love is inscrutable, yet the clearest breeze of complexity in the universe. After a short hiatus, something got me to think to the most profound kind of way that everything we believe seems very crucial to have, is actually not. What is a priority? It’s to say, I care for you. To people who will always be there for you…Who always listen to every bull of craps you spit. Say, I love you to them and tell them how you appreciate and are grateful to have them in this short journey of life..

The Limit To Your Love

{picture is a courtesy of Jane and Dimas and Sadie}

What I found out recently was, well not very recently..That there is a limit to everything. Some say that sky is the limit…but even the sky is the limit. So apparently there is a limitation for everything. You can pursue your dreams to China, or even further..But tell me why are you being so persistent to achieve everything all at once? Even God created the universe in 6 days. Knowing your limit and accept your limitations is just as cool as drinking sangria in a summer day..If what worries you is what people might say, then you are actually only punishing yourself. When you get to where it gets nowhere, I think the best thing you can do, is just to take a break. Think through what you have done and experienced, and just enjoy and admire it. Sometimes people are too hard to themselves. What’s the worse gonna happen if you take your break? Nada…

Weekly Thoughts

I am still in a tranquil state of mind. Enjoying every bit of my holiday, my in-between-job holiday. Still trying to let go all the unnecessary emotions, all negative vibrations, or whatever that holds me back from my cheery mode! Nothing can stop me now lol. The weather in NL has been fantastic! Seriously, it is not normal. Today it was 27 degrees Celsius outside! So far I have been spending times with friends, trying to read new books that have been stacking up at my To Read corner. Venturing out to some cute spots around the neighborhood. Went to the beach, for God’s sake! Wonderful. But, when I try to read newspapers or turn on the TV…there are always awful and gruesome things happening on the other side of the world. After some inspiring and fun activities during the day, I go home and watch some news try not  to let the world just passes me by. But, it is just not very inspiring to hear what happens in Libya…I have checked this interactive map on NRC (online newspaper version of NRC, sorry it’s in Dutch). It is interesting to monitor, how the political turmoil in the Arabic countries have been going on for these past months.

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